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Goldring 黑马非马

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Location
since 1983

我不会告诉坏人的!
Compose yourself...
Why taunt me?
Why upbraid me?
I am merely a genius,
Not a god.
来了,就说几句吧,听说不花钱的嘎
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to:LouAlex,Happy B-day,虽然有点晚,不过迟总比没有好 大笑
Feb. 12
Alex Louwrote:
早啊,拜年.
Feb. 7
泠 Elisawrote:
弄好space,可以在此留言了,呵呵,先沉寂一段时间,要回家了,以后还会来看S.S您的...
Jan. 15
Alex Louwrote:
我刚从火星过来...多多关照
Sept. 25
wow...so amazing.maybe only GOD knows the Why.
July 7
小玲 郑wrote:
呵呵 偶也不认识你啊  只是不知道怎么会有你BLOG 的地址了呢?在我的收藏佳里
July 7
为什么你来了就说自己(没有名字)呢···我还在纳闷,你是谁 -_-!!
空间自去年3月就开始了 ^_^
July 7
小玲 郑wrote:
什么时候怎么就有你的MSN  空间了呢?
June 24
很喜欢bob dylan这老男人的唱腔(这歌也是原唱,anti-war的),沧桑感十足。阿甘中的Jenny唱这首歌,可是正值老美们反战运动哈 ^_^
June 2
Respirewrote:
额...《blowing in the wind》还是<Forrest Gump>里Jenny版的唱腔好听多了。。。
下面那条错鸟~
可惜找不到,呵呵。
May 28

黑马非马 Simple Life,Unique Experience

精神自留地: 浙水江南 , 天瑞地安 , 偶在中央

醉 Getting drunk is a sin

   it's totally a mess.

    周二上午陪客户进行了一系列的工艺试验,中午在某饭店吃饭,回公司之后一天就过去了,换句话说,人生少了这一天。

    由于家教的缘故,说喝酒人会变笨,自小人人都想变聪明,因此,平时就很少喝酒。曾经,一位中学好友跟我说,让我要不沾烟酒,我说好,不沾烟,酒,会少一点。随着年龄的增长,也开始喝一些酒水了,不过基本上很少触及白酒,这和我身边的同学和朋友不无关系,基本上大家都是尽兴就好,没必要喝得酩酊。

    这一次酒醉,让人很难堪,第一次醒来,昏昏沉沉中,发现置身办公室,看表已是半夜三四点了,渴,到处找水,喝完了倒头继续睡。等及早上上班时间,胃里仅有的水都倒在了地板上,被诸多同事送去医院。点滴,挂了三个多小时,抬头就是满满的一串(大大小小有五袋药液,内兼各种药剂)。心有余悸。

    为什么那么多人会借酒消愁,酒后眩晕迷幻,不知今夕是何年,置身事外,没有苦和恼。确实,这也是我们所要的生活。如果说没有醉酒的感觉也是一种遗憾,可这一次超剂量的醉,让我更深刻地理解了酗酒的坏处,它伤身劳财费事费力不胜枚举。翌日公司上下全都知道我喝醉了,good grief!

冲动...

    下班路上,公车司机和小车在某拐弯处差点刮擦,小车司机探出脑袋颇有愠色,开公交的年轻小伙也是血气方,忍不下,行车间言语就干上了(不懂杭州方言,略过).红灯时小车司机冲到公交窗口伸手抓住年轻小伙领口,却是不下手,仅限于此.然后两人等交警过来善后.不提可怜一车下班族了.

    动手,瞬间的冲动,谈不上勇气.如同不顺与憋屈后之辞职闪念,也是属于此类,毕竟还是要顾及眼下行情再斟酌一番的,生活在这样尴尬的时代本身就是需要勇气的,已经不需要太多的冲动来搅局了.抑不住的出手最后也只能作罢:均衡考量之后还是下不了狠手(如果这也算勇气的话).迫于无奈,也畏忌于冲动的惩罚,只能做一个孱头,走在崎岖的路...

希望

   上周五去金华,为产品的投槽做一些准备.可以说初出茅庐的我一无是处,简单点地说, i screw it up. 即使当晚已经百般补救,面对傻毙了的金华土著,终究仍是无济于事.
    初生牛犊入不了场."没经验",尤其是碰上那些老油条.进退维谷,苦不堪言.
    周末,心情很糟糕(actually it totally ruined my dayz),跑去买了双色球,给自己去去晦气.这玩意儿,统计学老师教过我们,是小概率事件,是不可能发生的,遑论暗箱.其实购买彩票,更多地是给自己一点点希望.活在希望中好歹不是坏事.聊胜于无吧.
     postscript: it's a sad week, all happened in one day, my life f@cked. there was a sudden business trip to jinhua for pre-acquaintance on the spot, so that we can make out plans and how-tos when our new products go into operation on customer's production line. i was happened to be appointed for the task, alone and temporarily. soo harsh. it turned out to be a disaster for the lack of experience and understanding of industrial production, no supervisor available on the side. like a toddler try to walk, i had to follow my noise, do what i think i should do. little data had i collected. when back to hangzhou, a phone came, without any warning, inform us the customer should take a trial run on the third day after that visit. stunned. with nothing got prepared, nowhere can we go! damage control asap. phone call made, possible suggestions and remedies done, seemed moving in circles. i was defeated, every bit of myself. i knew i blew it, for not complete a full observation on the spot, and most importantly, no agreement was achieved, indeed i forget to make a memo before the normal production( it includes the operation details as well as the solutions and preparations for the trial production). now i reviewed the experience. i am really young and naive to believe people. it sucks. as for the current position in the firm, i don't know there is a hope for me, or not. uncertainty theory rulez the university. it pains.

工作外的唠叨

    双十节去了金华的武义,一个到处是做门的地方,门业公司的广告牌,举目皆是,因此也就不难理解其中国门业之都之称谓了).和某中间商一起去了武义某家名头较响的公司(之前由中间商选定的).钢门的生产工序繁杂,制作过程过程中,都不可避免地产生大量的工业废水(含磷,水体富营养化的带头大哥),于是这也成了当地环保局要解决的大问题...推行环保产品和绿色处理工艺.
    此行的目的是为某款环保产品进行投槽试生产.进展很不顺利.中间商也没按我们事先发给的计划/schedule进行实施开展工作,试验结果未尽如人意,前景堪忧(虽然厂商说"该产品的质量是好的..."可我们心知肚明).
    在试验的过程中,慢慢地发现,其实厂商也没有多大的意愿和动力去替换原本非环保的生产方式(遑论其本身也是中国驰名商标企业).
    环保,如果不强推,企业废水照排(偷排)不误,因为自己也是有点来头,反正上头还是可以打点的了(这是一种无法改变的江湖现状).自上而下的环保政策推行(不是针对普通公民"禁塑令"的那种),面对是利益各方时,举步维艰.为什么?因为环保,对追求利润最大化的企业而言,眼里只有成本和市场和增长,而只见往里头扔钱,不见钱出来的玩意儿,怎么可以发生呢?
    绿色环保,媒体舆论我们天天见.可见多了业内现实,我不持任何乐观态度,虽然我很希望这一切都能好起来.

甲子

        年轻时看阅兵很激动.现在,老了,跟没事儿一样.十年前,还在读高二.阅兵式的早上我还在大街上溜达,当时就在路边某电器店里驻足静看.很多路人都这样.整排整排大大小小的电视机播放着相同的画面,蔚为壮观,颇有一种心潮澎湃的(这可能还跟少不更事有关-_-!!),这种感觉在今天早上却是如何也感觉不到了,崩溃的网络加上对CCAV憋足的Live之失望,基本上看不到什么恢宏雄壮的东西(就像奥运开幕式那样,壮观只有在NBC得以实现).煽情的解说流于肤浅,一个劲地表达深沉的爱,没劲;凤凰卫视的略显深度的报道和分析才叫有点看头.现在有印象的不是整齐划一的铿锵步伐,而是妖娆多姿的女(民)兵,嗯,也许这个才是我的看点所在 转动眼睛.
        断断续续看他们走路的时候,发现自己有一个太是邪恶的想法:要是突然有人脚儿不听使唤,
不慎摔倒了怎么办? OMG...Thinking
        看过纽约时报NYTimes的报道(update:最后两段已经被删去.原最后一段如此:"There was moment when Hu broke into a nearly human-like expression, when he saw the girls in the miniskirts." said Mr. Barmé, of Sydney. But his overall assessment of the parade? "Incredibly dull.", 太狠了-_-!!).自己本有的想法,都懒得说了.  whatever, it's a big day. ;)

一晃, 八年

2001.9.11一个分水岭,无论是我个人还是在地球的另一边

那一天,我一直在忙活行李,为晚上11点的火车。因为要去大学报到。婉拒了家人送我到学校的提议,决意一个人出行。当晚,老爸送我上了火车。我就这样离开了老家,开始了另一种生活。

大学总是有别于以往的任何一个时期的,一别高中的压抑,接触更广阔的天空,开始自己一个人学着飞。

网络是大学的一个基本点,在中国的互联网初期阶段,那是一个H站点泛滥的时代,加之荷尔蒙的催化,五行卫士(估计是绿坝他娘了)是挡不住我们向往自由挣脱羁绊的勇气和力量

记得大伙儿结伴去网吧,辅一坐定,顿时一颤,屏幕上的网页煞是不断跳跃,豪放的惊艳,心虚得紧,急忙环顾左右,发现无人看自己,稍为释怀,忐忑之中,左键狂点,关闭那使劲狂蹦的刺激画面,小心脏跳得那个欢畅,不起反应也难。这就是第一次去网吧的紧张与尴尬:赶上上一个人欣赏完香艳之后不进行扫尾。其实,大家都是心照不宣,谁不想看啊?!那个网站就叫:sexhu(性虎),一个当时大家耳熟能详的名字。

有太多弹出窗口,让人手忙脚乱,可大家还是趋之若骛,如今只剩下"网页错误"的小字报和略显遗憾愤慨的资深淫民。网络,包括后来的PP点点通,让曾经在武侠小说里寻找香艳情节的广大淫民有了新的体验机遇。不过现在大都变成挂羊头卖狗肉骗点击的骗子。

当年的激情恍若眼前日子,就这么过去了,不慎想起,有点怀念在网吧偷偷摸摸H站点的激情。说这么多,这可能是因为人们对性的内在执迷,或者说是"animal instinct"吧,因为当年还在读小学时就盛行一则顺口溜(童谣):日本人,脚蹬蹬,提皮包,戴眼镜,看见女人,马上强奸(温州方言说出来还是比较押韵的,翻译成普通话则不然)当初年幼不知强奸为何解,可这几句已是刻在了脑中:青春岁月的一个重要的片段。

岁月不留痕时光不停滞,滚滚向前不断成长,不做大哥好多年了,对朋友、家人、生活、生命有了更深的认识和感悟也经历了各色人和事,拥有了更多的阅历,变得庸俗。在另一边,仍然坚持不懈的追求心中的梦,虽然离当初已经愈来愈远,渐显渺茫,可仍是不愿放弃,因为那是陪伴自己成长的源动力。

记得研二的寒假,初中同学聚会(那时正逢大学同学聚会,没去成),我赶回老家去见我那帮自初中毕业后几乎未曾谋过面的兄弟姐妹了。席间,一女同学对我说,"你一点也没变""只不过变得更好相处,好说话了"。让我大跌眼镜,难道当年我就是那般冷峻?抑或是目空一切?一切无从知晓,不过这都过去了,现在好,什么都好。

须臾八年间,恍然不得语。真快。

困兽犹斗

或劳心,或劳力.劳心者治人,劳力者治于人.治于人者食人,治人者食于人.(孟子·滕文公上

这是一个传统,也是管理与技术之间关系的最佳注脚.

我们有一个怪圈,貌似也是潮流,就是技术发展到一定程度就要去走行政之路,官本位的通俗表达.

近约十天前,和学校的老师吃饭(我是配角).把酒言欢间,隐隐可知其意气风发,颇为得意.四十出头,博导,学科带头人,身承国家、省、市各项科研项目基金,以及横向课题(与企业间的合作,产研结合),可支配费用数百万.可自言眼下很是彷徨苦恼,自己该有的都有了,有不了的也不会去念想(如院士etc.),——不知下一步该迈向何处.其实他还是有方向的,想走走行政方面的,当个什么院长处长的(同时又对副院长啊副处什么的又颇有些不屑:大材小用,隐没其才).孔夫子学而优则仕真是一语中的.

在学校时,经常会谈及一流人才搞科学,二流人搞经济,三流人搞政治”,来给我们这些工科男打气,可大家心底下都心知肚明,市场的兴起,以及长期的急功近利,管理/销售是和效益最直接的联系,而大致上,技术只能作为配角隐身幕后.都知道技术是不可或缺,可又总是会有意无意地无视做技术的,从来就没有真正重视过技术劳动.一言以蔽之,目前的社会还不是十分地尊重技术人才.走出校园,才会更加深地体会到,技术,有时候也挺无助和无奈的.

做技术服务时,经常会碰到同一个问题:对方一个劲地说降低成本,在各种地方减少成本以求更高效益,其实这些已经损害了产品的质量,(谁都知道,它能达到指标,可丫就不去做,偷工减料).业界的潜规则?

一同毕业的同学,从事市场销售和管理的,比起还在死守本专业苦苦挣扎的,中间的距离已经逐渐显现.技术只是一种方法,可以谋生,但不能作为太过厚望.至少是对这片土地上的大多技术人.

在那浑沌又单纯的年代,痴迷技术,并不懈追求.因为学好数理化,走遍天下都不怕,是的,只要一技在身,饭碗还是有的捧.可要想在这个没有信仰的社会,已不是一口饭的问题了,更高的物质和生活水平才是人心所向.这是很有点难度的.拿时髦的话来讲,就是技术人的努力和付出,性价比太低了!发财和发展都是很实在的课题.这也是为什么大学里商科管理类专业总是那么热门的缘由了.

困兽犹斗.给自己以期盼,至少,也要活在希望中.

六月末的draft,不想删掉,于是改改贴出.

传说中的自己

    未曾谋面的人之谬传,抑或以讹传讹,走得远,愈是玄乎.让我开怀,--这还是我自己嘛?如此看来我也可以振臂高呼I Am Legend”了, It makes my day. XD
    
"06年来外语版时,版主还是火→炎→焱→燚,此人牛逼的一塌糊涂,非英语专业却对语言有很深的造诣,机电专业的,大二过了高级口译,还自学了N门小语种,在他率领下的外语版,那时,真是鼎盛时期啊.当时版面的最上方写着:学鸟语的乐趣.此人学语言不背单词,据他所说,就是大量阅读,在图书馆一蹲就是十多个小时.为了考高口口试,还特意请过一个月的假,专门复习.有天赋又能吃苦,不愧是版主大人..." (by 潜水员1号 from 精弘外语 @2009-6-16)

    这,是我所不认识的自己,看来 know thyself 真的有些难 ;)

Once In A Lifetime 2.0

     It was a lovely morning, gentle breeze stirred the leaves, leaving us in quite a comfort. But today we really wish a hot day with sun shining, er... a blue sky much better, like days ago, --high temperature tortures everyone. Comfort left clouds hovering over our heads, no trace of the sun observed, let alone the show-up of Total Solar Eclipse of 2009 Jul 22. Here I should admit, the evil weather was greatly cursed for spoiling my once in a lifetime chance, I also deemed that the next person might well do the same, because word had it that such a long time Eclipse is almost happened once at an interval of 500 yrs (1814 - 2309) in the land of China, what a disaster it would be if the only protagonist did not show up especially when it was fully expected. After all, the Eclipse was on everyone's lips for rather a long time, the whole nation was watching its performance. Never before have so many people experienced such a spectacular, We are missing it and we will miss it.
     Man proposes, God disposes. Yeh, it was so damn right that all of a sudden the sun poped up and finally came out of the clouds. As the amazing eclipse went, Moon's umbral shadow dimed Hangzhou, bit by bit. It was soaked by darkness as the night lands the city. Fantastic Eclipse, a total unique experience! What had just happened was beyond my words. LOVE it.
     在 公司的时候,已经开始出现日偏食了, 将公司里的工人都拿着电焊用的护目镜,自己也去仓库借了一块,由于要外出买材料/仪器,就带上了准备在路上瞅下这等奇观.在路上发现不少老外蹲点的老外 XD.在高架上,路灯很早就亮了,一路见到不少的车子都伺机停下观赏拍照(当然我们也是这么做了的),不一而足.(When at work in company, the eclipse started at approx. 8:30 am, I occasionally noted some fellow workers wearing their welding goggles, sitting in a row to enjoy the sky. Immediately i knew what i shall do, -- borrow a pair. Before leaving to purchase some laboratory equipments, I carried it around for the convenience of observation. En route to the supplier's, we found that many foreigners flocked to witness the longest total solar eclipse in the 21st century, yes, it paid off in the last moment ;). Before the total eclipse, the street lamps was turned on in advance, when it went as dark as night, vehicles on the elevated road pulled over to watch the eclipse and shot it. So did us. We cannot miss this splendid minute, later I knew it was referred as a diamond, which reminded me the dazzling shining was truly a forget-not.)
      关于日食,想起大约在十几年前我还读初中的时候,在某个上午,表兄弟姐妹一起看那次的日偏食,可惜现在已是物是人非,让人徒增感慨...Thinking (As for the solar eclipse, I recalled, once upon a time in my junior school years, with my dearly sister and cousins, standing in front of the house, watching the partial eclipse with our homemade goggles in turns. But, Alas, everything is changed, We cannot go back to that carefree innocent days, only missing them in dreams, someone walked out of your life, forever.)
    (Still, on Moon Festival back in 1997, I fortunately witnessed the total lunar eclipse, accompanied by my Father before the window in the mid-night. We stood together, we witnessed together, we talked together. That was a beautiful night.)
    (Good old days never fade away.)
     P.S. (很长时间没写了,都不知道怎么表述当年,就待续吧.有空上几图. Tongue out) Second half updated @ Jul 24. Writing this piece is a bit challenging.(写了半拉子的英语和中文,一不做二不休,索性就写成英语,不写中文了 Wink)

米高·积逊:两三句话

       整个世界都在忧伤地怀念米高·积逊Michael Jackson,媒体的文字也大相径庭,IMO基本上是属于被定论的模式.他的故事和传说(永远的MJ),以及一个时代的结束云云.在我个人方面,也谈不上喜欢,抑或厌恶,只是没多大感觉,他跟我没啥子关系,此外对我的品味和价值观什么的也没产生什么样的影响(虽然我很喜欢听老歌).那么多人缅怀The King of Pop的逝去,我想崇敬是一个理由,一个被抽象的音乐象征,自然有我们蜂拥向神一样存在致敬的理由.
       记得之前看美偶(American Idol)的时候,有选手选唱了的歌,
评委就很直白地告诉他,Michael Jackson的伟大,模仿难道超高,因此不难理解翻唱效果(不够好).那时就想起了"一直被模仿,从未被超越"的老话来,管中窥豹,Michael Jackson的确是有他人无可匹敌的超能力.
       就像我开始读书的时候(1990年),我们老师老叫我们去听广播里放的一首叫做亚洲雄风的歌,当时也不知道老师为什么要让我们这么做,后来听听那歌也很有激情动感,挺好听的.很多年后才,才明白为什么当年的作业本封面都是些无穷号的长城标志以及一只举着奖牌的熊猫,原来这一切都是和北京亚运会有关.我第一次听到Michael Jackson的歌还是在初中,在一个表哥的家里,很随机地看VCD,没想到Michael Jackson那时就已经被盗版到文化沙漠的文字的某个乡下了,很久以后回想起那个场景,那首歌就是Beat it(记得这歌,仅仅是因为刚刚学过beat这个单词,那时对MTV倒是感觉有点乌烟瘴气-_-!!).
       到了高中(应该是高二,99年),有次学校举行什么晚会,一位高一学弟在舞台上模仿
Michael Jackson,第一次感觉那舞步很帅气,行云流水,妙不可言.当时在学校里就兴起了一股热潮.据悉我们班也有几个同学在寝室里试着滑上几下.后来才知,那叫太空步(moonwalk).
       对Michael Jackson的歌,听的本就不多,而且接触到的基本上都是对杂志讲述他的故事,新闻在报道他的丑闻(我高中那时就经常看报纸上看到有关他恋童,白脸,和把孩子抱出窗外饱受批评等负面/丑闻),一言以蔽之,接触到的已经是走下坡的他,更何况是予生也晚,根本无法体会巅峰时刻的王者了.及至大学,除了Heal the world,We are the world耳熟能详(可能其公益性的缘故,在国内被广泛宣传),零星也听过其他歌,基本上就没更多的了,因此就对他的逝去也没太大的感觉,太遥远了!只知道他已经成为西方流行文化的符号之一了,period.
 

黑马非马

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